Years ago, I went to the island of Kauai to spend some time seeking the Lord’s will for my life. Specifically, whether I should go to Seminary. I had been encouraged by the pastor of our local church to pursue a master’s degree in Evangelism and was excited about doing this because it would involve taking liberal arts courses – like church history – which appealed to me as my college education had been in liberal arts, and yet my career work had been in finance. I thought that by getting away on a remote island I would have a better opportunity to pray and seek an answer from the Lord than if I stayed at home. So, day by day, I sat outside our condo on a lawn chair overlooking the Pacific Ocean, seeking an answer from the Lord, but not getting one. Then one day the following words came to my mind:

These words were so quiet yet were so powerful. I believe it was the Lord speaking to me.

The message was short and direct but interestingly didn’t provide me with an answer to the question about my going to Seminary. I did get an answer later, actually when I was home. But the “answer” I did get was more important – one I can carry with me day by day – even moment by moment.

The climax of a trip that my wife, one of my grandsons, and I took to Israel was to attend a church service in Jerusalem. We had traveled throughout Israel and in parts of Jordan, and now came the end of the trip. We looked forward to attending the church that had been recommended – a Presbyterian Church which I felt would be fitting, knowing a little about John Knox – the founder of the denomination.

We all sat in the pew, looking forward to hearing an inspiring message. While I can’t remember the details of what the pastor said. What I do remember is that it was one of the worst sermons I had ever heard. It was agreed upon unanimously by our small group.

So, I did something I rarely do. I asked the Lord directly why I was there in that church listening to that sermon all the way across the Atlantic, and the answer I got –

Well, this is an answer for life – our relationship with Christ.

My friend of 65 years from days when we played tennis together was dying of cancer. His suffering over 10 years had been incredible – so much pain from one area of his body to another. And now cancer was cleaning his life. Friends came to see him and offered to pray for a miraculous healing. And his response stunned me. He told them:

“Don’t pray that. Pray that God’s will be done!”

I had never heard anybody say that under those circumstances and marveled at his faith.

Then I remembered another occasion with a friend from my days as a young boy growing up on our family’s farm. He had had three operations for brain cancer and now was back in the hospital – the brain cancer had returned. We talked about our days on the farm. I hadn’t seen him in many years. When I learned that he shared my faith in Christ, I offered to pray with him, which I did. As I was praying, he interrupted me and said:

“The Lord is my Shepherd.”

No one had ever interrupted me as I prayed – that was a first. But then what he said showed that no matter his future – he was trusting God.

Two amazing statements. From two individuals dying of cancer – trusting God with their lives. I marveled at their faith during adversity.

Then I remembered what Jesus said. First, the teaching of us how to pray. Then when facing the horrors of his crucifixion: “Thy will be done.” (referring to His Father).

As I experience debilitating depression, I find I need to adopt this same posture; “Thy will be done.” I find no peace in any other way, and yet when I do turn to the Lord and trust Him, I find rest.

There are two particular verses in the Bible which come to mind as I write this. First, in the Psalms, where God says, “Be still, and know that I am God.”

Second, in the gospel of John, Jesus says – “Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God, trust also in me.”

My fighting my depression with all available earthly means is tiring, and in the end doesn’t bring me rest. If I turn to the Lord – and trust Him like did my friends, I can at least find rest.